Lessons from the trees

With fall on it's way many people are out in their gardens and yards doing a bit of work.  Today I was helping my Dad with some work in our back yard.  After I asked to see what I could do to help he directed me to a shovel and said that I could dig up some of the little trees that were growing here and there. 

Sounded simple enough to me so off I went with gloves on ready to pull up the tree.  But as I started to dig a bit I found out that these little trees were very deceiving to the eye.  Just a couple of inches high, thanks to the mowing from the last two years, but as I dug and then tried to pull up the roots I was very surprised!  The roots were huge!  I pull and yanked and tugged, I got the shovel and tried to use it to pry them loose.  Foot by foot these roots were revealed stopping just short of Australia and China. 

As I kept on in my excavation of these pesky roots I thought of how Jesus taught using gardening in many parables.  Back then everyone would have clearly understood what he was driving at because they all worked the land for food.  Than one thought lead to the next and I was reminded of James 1:13-25 which I had been studying the week before. It’s all about hearing someone tell you how to live a Christian life, but staying the same and thinking it was ok.

“When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.”  For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when by his own evil desires, is dragged away and enticed.  Then, after desire has conceived it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full grown gives birth to death.” James 1:13-15

Those words "Sin when it is full grown brings death," has always hit me hard.  I can't even imagine getting the roots in our yard up after 2 more years of growth...it would take a truck and a backhoe to get them out if I waited that long.

So there was my lesson.  We often think that we are choosing to sin in a small way and that it won’t really make a difference.  Then it grows to another “slightly worse sin” that we say isn’t that big of a deal.  One day, maybe after going to church, we feel sort of convicted that we have a problem so we do a quick little prayer, “Sorry God, thanks for forgiving me. Amen”.  We mow over the plants of sin that cropped up in our hearts and vow to live changed lives, thinking that will be enough.  But one day we find ourselves back where we started, little trees all over the place showing us that we need some help.  Something in us knows we’re in over our heads, but to actually TELL someone our dirty struggle, or to find a counselor to help is usually the thing we fight hardest against.  We tell ourselves it really isn't even that bad.  But from my lesson today, things under the surface are often much more severe than what is seen at a glance and the longer we put off confession and seeking help for our struggles the bigger the roots get and the more things will be torn up in the process of getting the secrets out.

“This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.  If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.   But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.  If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.” 1John 1:5-10

 “Therefore confess yours sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.  My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his ways will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” James 5:16;19-20

The Test of Plenty

As I look around I see many people that I love going through hardships which are teaching them to endure.  The testing of our metal is something that each of us will face several times in our lives.  Can we make it through the pressure?  Will we stretch out our hands and cry out to God or hate him instead?  Will we keep on believing in a good God while life feels anything but good, or will we give up and give in? 

I’ve been in this kind of place more times than I can count and managed to hang on because of God's love.  As strange as it sounds I feel I am in a new kind of test…the test of having more than I need.  You might say that this isn’t a test and that I should shut up and enjoy myself while I can.  But that's just it... as much as this time of peace is a gift from God the enjoyment of that gift is the very thing that has threatened to make me apathetic.  There is a temptation to forget God who has helped me through the hard times as I kick back and relax in this times of plenty.

I must admit that it is very easy to work all the time, pile up savings, play, stay entertained and sleep the rest of the time, but I've had to choose to seek God for wisdom and guidance as things are moving along smoothly.

One of my favorite books in the Bible is Deuteronomy because there is so much in it about human nature.  It shows how we can be ungrateful on the heals of being saved, how we can have our bellies filled and still be unsatisfied and how we can see our dreams fulfilled by God and then completely forget all about HIM.  One of my favorite verses from Deuteronomy came to mind today.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.  When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you--a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant--then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.” Deuteronomy 6:4-12 (NIV)

It can happen, as crazy as it seems, we can forget all about God and how HE is the reason life is worth living.  This is something I am now aware of.  I still need God, I still desire to have him in my heart and thoughts daily.  So it is a choice for me to pray in times when I don't need to cry out for help and replace those prayers with words of thankfulness to God for his goodness to me.  To sing songs of praise, not because I need to be pulled out of the mire of discouragement but rather to celebrate God’s faithfulness to me.  I think I was close to loosing this battle of ease, but maybe God will be able to trust me with his promise land knowing that I won’t loose sight of him because of it.  This is one test I want to pass!!!

That's Easy For You to Say

“Oh come on,” I said to my Dad as we played a dice game called 10,00 “the risk is worth it!  What do you have to loose, you’re so far behind anyways.”  He listened to me, rolled the dice again and lost it all.  I felt bad.

Now it was my turn.  I rolled and planned to stop, take my points and run, that is until I heard my Dad echoing my words, “What have you got to loose you’re so far bind anyways, go for it!”  Instinct said don’t be crazy stay with the safe choice! I blurted out, “I want to stay with the points that I’ve got, but than I guess that would make me a HYPOCRITE since I just convinced Dad to risk it all.”  Every one expected me to stay but instead I rolled, not out of the thrill of the gamble, but out of a need to practice what I preached.  I couldn’t believe my eyes, I didn’t loose it all!  I had just accumulated even more points!  I laughed almost uncontrollably at this ironic out come.  And everyone else laughed, gasped and looked on in shock.  I had just beat the odds!

When it comes to life it seems that everyone can tell you how to live yours.  They’re just chocked full of advice, but most of these pushy advisers seem to be full of talk and empty when it comes to application.  Because of the work that I do I've been seeing the same example repeating its self.  I happen to have a cleaning busyness that has been doing pretty good lately and one type of job I’ve been getting more often is to clean homes before people move in.  It really is amazing how people can get so used to their own grime that they don’t even notice it, but put a stranger in that same environment and there are gasps of shock at how anyone can live like that.  Yet, take that same person who goes on and on over the filth of the previous dwellers into their current home and you often find the same erosion of time and grime having it’s affect in their space.  

Some how this seems funny to me and it made me think that this is also how people look at others as they judge them.  We seem to be able to see someone's problems so much easier from the outside looking in because we have a fresh perspective and we haven’t become accustomed to the over all neglect of personal wisdom in life choices.  Yet we don’t manage to see our own problems…phrases like “Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” and “They can’t see the forest for the trees”, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” come to mind. 

So what’s to be done, do we stop giving someone the advice that might save them from heart ache because we really have no right to be giving them a tip on life that we ourselves haven’t applied?  Will they listen to us? 

Luke 6:39-42 He also told them this parable: "Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit?  A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.  "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

If you want to change/help others you must first change yourself.  If you want to be heard, make sure you’re living life in such a way that people are ASKING you for what you think in how to handle a certain situation.  Live life in wisdom and people who are in need of some guidance are more likely to want to hear what you have to say. 

The Battle for Identity

Lately I’ve wanted to revolt against the crowd so to speak.  I’ve had several people that are very different from me try to say that we are alike and I’ve had others try to change my thoughts and values, as well as my confidence in myself, into what they think these thought and values should be.  I found myself wanting to shout, “No, I’m not you! I’m me!” Last week with all the pressure to conform, to change, to fear myself and believe that I am who others say I am, I reached my boiling point.  How many times a day would I have to draw a line in the sand to mark my stand for myself and for who I know I am?  I found that the answer was; as many times as it takes to not loose ground.

Then I was reminded of the wise words of a 4 year old that I was a nanny for; after I made the innocent statement that her new baby sister looked just like 4 year old Grace she replied, “No, she doesn’t!  She looks like herself!”  No truer words could have been said, it was wisdom in its simplicity.

I can’t believe that I am the only sufferer of others projecting their own mistakes and fears onto those around them, or perhaps their own hopes and dreams.  And I must confess that I am also guilty of this life sucking action. 

I understand that it’s normal to want to share things in common with others, not a bad thing, but having similarities and common interests doesn’t make someone your clone nor should they have to become just like you in order for you to accept them.  We aren’t alone in life simply because there isn’t someone just like us.  We can still be understood and have confidence without having everyone think the way we do. The challenge for all of us is to try to see people as they are.

I guess that’s what’s been ailing me.  Others projecting their own life experiences, dreams and even fears onto me has tripped me up.  I began to wonder if I was ok, and wonder if I was blocking out life.  Surely, these people who shared with me their thoughts knew something I didn’t know.  For instance, some people are very happy in marriage and blessed to be parents.  Of course marriage and parenting comes at a cost in some ways but there are major benefits too, it’s often the thing that makes people grow as individuals.  So was my singleness holding me back from having joy and growth?  I’ve felt that this was the implied thought by many.  Even the way they were trying to fix this so called problem further made the point.  Solution, find Amanda a husband.  Never mind that I might not like the guy, never mind that we have nothing in common other than both of us being free for dinner this Friday night.  Surely this was the person to complete me.  Really?  Is finding one’s life mate so simple?  And can people who don’t seem to get me really find someone that would be a good match?  Am I stubborn for not being more desperate?

However, it isn’t just the marriage thing that got under my skin.  It was people’s fears and mistakes from their own past being put on me that hurt most . . . they were certain that I would go in the same direction that made them stumble?  One drink and you might become dependent, they say.  You need a better job, you need more friends, you aren’t a good Christian if you don’t have a church etc. Because their way of survival is to make as much money as possible, even if that job wrecks their health, to feel accomplished.  Because having time to themselves makes them feel alone, so they have to fill that void with needy people who constantly want saving, which also helps them feel superior.  Because going to church holds them together and gives them a feeling of being on the right track to holiness even if they aren’t growing in the ways that they could be. 

Like I said, life is a battle!  It’s a battle to love people while they hurt you deeply.  It’s a battle to hang onto your identity when you’re told you could do better than being what you are.  It’s even a battle to not do the same thing to those around you!  Mostly I think these problems are rooted in the fact that we live in a crazy world that is in need of understanding who they are through an understanding of who God is.  He did make each of us right?  He made us to be different, to be individuals, and I think he made us to see the differences in others and enjoy those differences.  He made us to be healthy and balance, and he made us to follow him and become more like his Son Jesus.  So Jesus is the standard that I’m trying to live by . . . me Amanda (Last name) am trying to live by that standard and I’ll let God sort out all the rest.

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.” Philippians 2:12-16

“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.  I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.  All of us who are mature should take such a view of things.  And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.” Philippians 37-11;15-16

Eyes open to growth

Life lessons can be found in the simplest of ways, especially if you're a parent and you're eyes are open to growth.  Many times people have told me about how God showed them a part of His character through them having to discipline their children.  They also said that they could understand how God might love things about their personality and quarks, because of the way they feel about their own children.  And although I am not a bona fide mommy, I think my time spent as a nanny and aunt of 16 has come with many, "Ah haaaa" moments from God too. 

Last week I watch a friend's two children for four days so that she could celebrate her anniversary with her husband and during that time I had one of those moments.  It all started with a hike and picnic that I had planned to take the kids on.  They were very content to do things at home and didn't think my plan of a hike would be all that fun because they hadn't seen were I was going to be taking them.  As we drove farther and farther from our part of town and got closer to the mountains I think I could sense some excitement building at what might lay ahead of us!

I had planned for us to stop and eat lunch in the picnic area first and then we would drive up to the main attraction.  I hadn't expected the kids to love the picnic area as much as they did.  There was a small river that was quiet tempting to play in and explore so I let them go at it for a bit, until I decided it was time to go.  This is where my life lesson started, because I practically had to drag one of the kids to the car so I could take them "higher".  Try as I might, I just couldn't convince them that as cool as this place was, mini waterfall and all, it wasn't nearly as amazing as where I had planned to let them explore.  After finally getting them in the car I knew I had become the enemy, the thwarter of dreams, crusher of adventures, but I was sure that with every twist in the road that brought us up they would see the bigger river, mammoth rocks to climb and safer paths to walk.

Finally, at the top, when they saw the big waterfall (bigger than the one that had been left behind) everything seemed to make sense.  The possibility were limitless!!  And on the way back down the mountain one of the kids said to the other, "Are you going to admit it?", "Admit what?" the other replied. "You know what.", said her brother. 

So back to the part where I saw a life lesson in this trip.  God showed me that He has all these amazing plans for me, and at times He has had to MAKE me come with Him.  After dragging me to the starting point of some wonderful adventure I have decided that the starting place was my destination and again I fought God, unwilling to be moved.  I felt the humor and irony of  the situation with the kids.  He reminded me that because I don't know the things He knows, because I haven't seen the wonderful places that He wants me to go, I have often made a fool of myself in fighting His leading.  Lovingly He has coxed me into the car and driven me to higher places after which I see how wrong I was as I'm face to face with His limitless possibilities for my life.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." 

Lessons from a dog sitter

One thing about having a less than normal life is that I'm always taking on odd jobs to pay the rent.  From construction clean up to being a nanny I feel like I've done every side job possible.  And this last week I spent a few days watching two very likeable dogs, but in the proses I have learned some "priceless" lessons.
   
     1. A full isn't just the size of the bed I usually stay in while dog sitting, it is the actual description of the bed with me squished between two dogs who don't understand the rules of sharing

    2. Dogs can snore . . . and have dreams that make them fight, run and whimper for help. These dreams usually start just as you begin to drift into REM.  And I thought I was a tough bunk mate!
    3. Cell phone texting will trigger loud barking at the door when you least expect it.

    4. You can't make a small dog "do their business" where they're supposed to if it's cold outside.  I know this to be a fact because every dog I've ever had charge of while there was inclement weather seems to have an aversion to wetting on an already wet area!  And you can forget about them staying out in the cold long enough to poo.  My apologies to the carpet, I just wasn't forceful enough to scare the ___ out of her while she was outside and as a result she pick on you.
    5.Like a kid and candy Dogs never get enough of catch.  I must confess that I have become a fan of this full contact sport because I'm able to root for the "underdog" hoping that they can beat the faster dog to the ball.

Other than these lessons revisited I have enjoyed waking up before the sun to feed and let the dogs out just so they can trick me into thinking they have emptied themselves.  And I found myself able to understand why people love their dogs as much as they do.  I could almost see why people leave money to their prized pooch in the Will.  Dogs love, they don't judge and they are pretty easy to please.  So here's to man's best friend!  You have won me over.

Navigating Life Solo

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re lost while driving to find a place that you’ve never been too?  I hate that feeling!  Navigation to a new destinations can be sort of stressful for me so I do all that I can to make sure that things go smoothly.  It isn’t that I dislike getting lost, it’s that I hate feeling dumb as I wander around failing to find my destination and showing up late for an appointment. 

You should see the careful preparations I take in an effort to not get lost.  Sometimes I joke that my approach to life might be slightly OCD.  My first step to traveling peace of mind is getting onto MapQuest and typing in the address of my destination.  Then I get out a slip of paper and I make my notes to go along with the map.  It isn’t enough for me that the map tells me what street to turn at, I need to know the name of each street that I will pass by just before my turn. 

Is this OCD enough for you?  In my defense I usually don’t have someone in the car looking at a map and telling me where and when to turn so this is my lifeline and when I’m driving 55 mph how the heck am I supposed to see a small street sign in time to get over?  As long as I hold my trusty notes in hand things go very smoothly.  The only time the journey gets bumpy is if I start to worry about missing my turn…when this happens I end up panicking and turning too soon.  I waste time by having to turn around and usually I find out that I had only one block to go before my next turn anyways.  Talk about ridiculous!

I’m pretty sure that I’ve been equally ridiculous when it comes to trusting God with my life these last few months. You know, wasting time because of not believing in my directions.  A while back God showed me the road he wanted me on and that this path would lead me to my future.  I got myself prepared, studied the map thoroughly in prayer, and climbed into the car heading toward my future.  I made the turns at each cue, but as the trip started to drag on I wondered if I missed a turn somewhere.  In the middle of my concerns people began to phone me with worries that I wasn’t going to make it either.  They felt certain that I was off track and tried to fix my life.  Like a fool I listened…even started to talk to myself about how foolish I was for not turning here or missing it there.  After going around in circles for way too long I finally stopped in my tracks pulled over and tried to collect myself. 

Suddenly I looked to my front right passenger seat and saw Jesus just sitting there.  He had been in the car the whole time, but in my panic I forgot that I had made Him my co-pilot from the start.  The moment I saw his face I crumbled: how could I have forgotten that He was there?  At least I knew everything was going to be fine now.  He pointed out that I had been going along just fine until I stopped trusting his direction and started to believe I needed someone else to help me.  My dread of looking foolish had almost made me missed it!

I think these last few weeks God has used this time to get me back on the road I was on before this whole panic attack took over.  I’m feeling confident and clear headed…and somehow I have this feeling that my next turn is only a block away!

Isaiah 30:18-23 (NJKV) Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him.  For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem; You shall weep no more. He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry; When He hears it, He will answer you.  And though the Lord gives you The bread of adversity and the water of affliction, Yet your teachers will not be moved into a corner anymore, But your eyes shall see your teachers.  Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left.  You will also defile the covering of your graven images of silver, And the ornament of your molded images of gold. You will throw them away as an unclean thing; You will say to them, "Get away!"  Then He will give the rain for your seed With which you sow the ground, And bread of the increase of the earth; It will be fat and plentiful. In that day your cattle will feed In large pastures.

The start

I have been asked several times by friends why I haven't created my own blog, I have finally decided it was time to dust off my computer and use it as I had always intended to use it.  I feel a little rusty having only used my skills of communication in short posts on FB.  I guess the hope of others reading my thoughts and sending out an AMEN rather than clicking the thumbs up response to a brief thought has awakened again within me.  I've chosen the name The Single Satisfaction because I'm hoping to write about life as a single woman from my point of view.  It isn't a tragedy to be found manless and I think very few people are encouraging woman to just sit back and enjoy life for what it is right now. 

So I will write about things that I'm learning, thoughts I've been having, funny stories I wanted to share and pictures of beautiful places I've been.  I hope the end result will be a smile left on your face, a warm feeling in your heart or maybe a moment of relief in finding that you're not alone in this struggle of trying to do life.

Of course should I suddenly find myself no longer single I guess I will have to rework the whole idea. Haha.