Navigating Life Solo

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re lost while driving to find a place that you’ve never been too?  I hate that feeling!  Navigation to a new destinations can be sort of stressful for me so I do all that I can to make sure that things go smoothly.  It isn’t that I dislike getting lost, it’s that I hate feeling dumb as I wander around failing to find my destination and showing up late for an appointment. 

You should see the careful preparations I take in an effort to not get lost.  Sometimes I joke that my approach to life might be slightly OCD.  My first step to traveling peace of mind is getting onto MapQuest and typing in the address of my destination.  Then I get out a slip of paper and I make my notes to go along with the map.  It isn’t enough for me that the map tells me what street to turn at, I need to know the name of each street that I will pass by just before my turn. 

Is this OCD enough for you?  In my defense I usually don’t have someone in the car looking at a map and telling me where and when to turn so this is my lifeline and when I’m driving 55 mph how the heck am I supposed to see a small street sign in time to get over?  As long as I hold my trusty notes in hand things go very smoothly.  The only time the journey gets bumpy is if I start to worry about missing my turn…when this happens I end up panicking and turning too soon.  I waste time by having to turn around and usually I find out that I had only one block to go before my next turn anyways.  Talk about ridiculous!

I’m pretty sure that I’ve been equally ridiculous when it comes to trusting God with my life these last few months. You know, wasting time because of not believing in my directions.  A while back God showed me the road he wanted me on and that this path would lead me to my future.  I got myself prepared, studied the map thoroughly in prayer, and climbed into the car heading toward my future.  I made the turns at each cue, but as the trip started to drag on I wondered if I missed a turn somewhere.  In the middle of my concerns people began to phone me with worries that I wasn’t going to make it either.  They felt certain that I was off track and tried to fix my life.  Like a fool I listened…even started to talk to myself about how foolish I was for not turning here or missing it there.  After going around in circles for way too long I finally stopped in my tracks pulled over and tried to collect myself. 

Suddenly I looked to my front right passenger seat and saw Jesus just sitting there.  He had been in the car the whole time, but in my panic I forgot that I had made Him my co-pilot from the start.  The moment I saw his face I crumbled: how could I have forgotten that He was there?  At least I knew everything was going to be fine now.  He pointed out that I had been going along just fine until I stopped trusting his direction and started to believe I needed someone else to help me.  My dread of looking foolish had almost made me missed it!

I think these last few weeks God has used this time to get me back on the road I was on before this whole panic attack took over.  I’m feeling confident and clear headed…and somehow I have this feeling that my next turn is only a block away!

Isaiah 30:18-23 (NJKV) Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him.  For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem; You shall weep no more. He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry; When He hears it, He will answer you.  And though the Lord gives you The bread of adversity and the water of affliction, Yet your teachers will not be moved into a corner anymore, But your eyes shall see your teachers.  Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left.  You will also defile the covering of your graven images of silver, And the ornament of your molded images of gold. You will throw them away as an unclean thing; You will say to them, "Get away!"  Then He will give the rain for your seed With which you sow the ground, And bread of the increase of the earth; It will be fat and plentiful. In that day your cattle will feed In large pastures.