Do you remember your youth/teen years fondly? When you see pictures of yourself in your
teens and 20’s what sort of thoughts come to mind? Maybe your thoughts start to wander to past
hobbies, boys you liked, friends that you had and perhaps the way that you enjoyed
life.
I think for many women the rapid linkage of one thought to
another one is second nature for us.
Recently, I had a simple thought about how I might be “growing up” in
ways that I might not want to. That
thought lead me to think of Peter Pan, which then lead me to think of the movie
HOOK. This movie is about how Peter grew
up and became a grumpy, unhappy and overly responsible person who forgot who he was and lost
himself completely. As my mind went to
that movie I had an immediate visual of the scene where Peter is having to
relearn how to fly in order to save his kids. Literally catapulting through the
air he chants, “think happy thoughts,” over and over in hopes of finding a happy thought to avoid crashing.
I’ve been think, that just maybe, this adulthood thing, though
all well and good, had caused me to forget how to fly. Here I am alive and well, but with both feet
planted on the ground as I look at things with my newly developed logic and
good sense.
One thing about myself that I'm worried about having lost is my optimism for
others. I used to always believe the best
of people. You might say I was a bit too
trusting, maybe even naive. Of course
the result of my blind faith had many negative consequences which, if I could
go back, I might change. But for the
last several weeks I keep finding things that are reminding me of my youthful
outlook on life. CD’s that I used to
listen too, art that I did, movies that made me laugh etc. I had almost completely forgotten about these
wonderful things which had been my happy thoughts of life.
It was about 2009 or so when things really started to change
with me. I was in one of those hard
seasons of life that we all have where you learn to become stronger as the result of pain. As soon as I got through 09 I had the aftermath of that year to sift through. When I
thought I had my feet under me 2011 surprised me and all my happy thoughts seemed to be shaken yet
again.
So, I’ve been wondering to myself how I can stay wise, be
responsible and yet still be able to fly with hopeful thoughts for myself and
others. I feel homesick for my past self, the naive trusting person that I
was, but I also know that to really love
someone you have to see them for who they are, flaws and all, and stick by them
anyways. You have to believe in others, cheer
them on, while making sure that you don’t make their future success or failure
your responsibility.
So maybe I just want to laugh like I used to while still hanging
onto the wiser me. I’m sure that I can
enjoy being a tender heart while staying wise.
“See, I send
you out as sheep among wolves. Be then as wise as snakes, and as gentle as
doves.” (Matthew 10:16 BBE) This seems to be a long standing lesson that I am
trying to master. I know that
there is a need to see people and situations as they are in order to really do
some good, or to just to stay out of a bad place, but I always seem to err on the
side of being a dove.
I guess that this balance is always going to be hard to
keep, but with everything in me, I will think my happy thoughts!!! I will fly in hope, for myself and others!!!
Surly both are possible, to be a grown-up and to be innocent and light hearted.
Here is one of the songs that was bringing me back to my youth. Darrell Evens was someone who's CD I could have worn out if that is possible http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WnbRtASRmM
