Not The Consolation Prize You Think It Is

Today something I’ve heard at least 20 times this year hit me differently, and offered a new perspective on life.  “There are worse things than being single.”

The implication here has always been that to be married to the wrong person, to be in a loveless marriage, the abusive sort, or one with no real connection is certainly worse.  I would agree with this whole heartedly.  And being desperate to fix the “problem of being alone” can have disastrous results.  In fact I have often made this my argument for being as careful as I am with whom I date.

But tonight something spilled out of my mouth that I now stand behind.  “That saying isn’t right.  It’s as if someone is saying, ‘your life stinks, but hey, it could be worse.  You could be in a bad marriage. So at least there’s that’.  But really, my life is great!  I’ve got it good!  Being single IS awesome!”

I get that most people don’t wear the unmarried outfit that well.  It might be tight and ill fitting, it could be loose and blousy, maybe a hot mess, but I think it looks pretty stylin' on me, so I’m owning it!  My new goal will be to make people say, “Hey, there are worse things than being married.”

FL Coast

Well, not really.  I love seeing people with their perfect match, I like seeing the joy that it brings to their lives.  But, I might just like to point out that I also have a sweet life.  I will give you my list.  And hey, if you marrieds feel jealous, I’m sorry. And for you singles out there I hope you will wake up and smell the coffee…cause your life rocks!

Colorado Mt.

1. Your Life Is Your Own: You get to drive it wherever you like.  There is less fear over how your choices will mess up your family and spouse.  I’m a careful person, but I only have to wonder if I’m screwing up my own life and that’s how I like it.

2.Your Time Is Your Own: Do you want to read a book? Do you want to take a bath without being disturbed? Do you want to dress up and go out with friends on a whim?  Well guess what, YOU SINGLE folks can!  Haven’t you ever heard your friends talk about parenthood?  You may be dreaming about babies, you may have all their names picked out, but I'll bet you didn’t know it’s hard to take a shower without your kid barging in on you!  Good babysitters are hard to come by.  And sleeping 8 hours a night is the crazed fantasy of most moms out there.

Glacier National Park

3.Your Money Is Your Own:  Hello, have you ever heard how much kids cost, singles! Diapers, stitches, broken arms, extra food, not to mention those hard to come by babysitters.

4.Your House Is Clean: Stop in on a mom half way through the day and you will understand this one.  Kids and spouses are messy. Extra dishes, lots of dirty laundry, crumbs everywhere and hand prints in the most odd places.  That’s life and you married couples have to deal with it. 

San Diego ZOO

5. Travel:   Do I have to explain this one???  Parents would love to go on a vacation without their kids.  Singles can plan a trip spontaneously because there’s only one schedule to worry about.  As long as you have time, off you can go.  Not so for parents.  Their trips must be planned at least 6 months out, school is factored in, praying you child doesn’t break a major bone before that trip, and hoping no real finacial emergencies come up is always on their minds, not to mention having to find house and pet sitters.

Disney World

6. Quiet:  Pay close attention to this one singles, you may take this for granted in a major way, but I promise you that parents know what a treasure this is.

7. What’s Mine Is Mine: I already mentioned money, but I didn’t cover THINGS.  I have lots of nieces and nephews and just from the short visits I’ve had with them I learned quickly that if it isn’t locked up its fair game.  Make-up is ruined, clothes stained, lamps broken, bedding wrecked, computers dropped just to name a few.  And my nieces and nephews are better-behaved than most kids FYI.

Canada

There really isn’t a need to go on because I think I have made my point.  My life, as I said, ROCKS.  I get to offer help to moms who need a night off because I have time, I get to drop everything and take a vacation, I am able to work for myself because I’m responsible.  I carry my own load and have a fairly drama-free world.  And by the way, I get to be the “Fun Aunt”.  So the next time you feel tempted to offer the consolation prize to a single friend, don’t.  Remind them how great they have it.  Help them see what they do have.  And singles, don’t be demanding of your already taxed friends who are trying to cope with how hard it is to be a good wife and mother.  Maybe offer to help her with the kids for a day, most likely by the end of the day you will see how great you life really is.

Treasure Island, FL